Two Guys Vs. The World

So, if there’s one thing we all know about life, it’s that it rarely works out the way we plan. Fortunately, humans have developed mechanisms to help us cope. It’s why when things in life don’t quite turn out right, we comfort ourselves by saying things like: “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey” or “No, if you cook it after it fell on the floor its fine. You only have to worry if it was on the floor longer than ten seconds after you’ve cooked it.”

In the same vein, when we’re faced by yet another cold, gray, rainy day we always justify said gloom with “well, we needed the rain”. But it’s around then that I find myself wondering: “it’s been raining for the last four days; do we really need more rain at this point…really?”  And even after consistently trying to fool ourselves and despite our best efforts to convince ourselves otherwise; it is the destination that matters. Otherwise, we’d just be wandering around aimlessly until we got stopped by the police so they could ask a few questions about our “unusual behavior”... But that’s a story for another day. And since we all insist that it is indeed the journey that’s important, I figured why not document it?

So, how to introduce you to our lives and our journey? Let’s try this, and stop me if you’ve heard this one: “A white boy from California and a South Asian guy from New Jersey walk into a fertility treatment center in Thailand….” Hmmm, no, that’s not quite right.

Ok, how about this one: “How many gay guys and straight women does it take to make a baby?” No, that’s not it either.

Alright: “Knock Knock. (Who’s there?) Justin. (Let me guess, Just in time?)” 

Nope, just Justin, and my husband’s name is Frankie. Well, ok, that’s not actually his name so much as the name of one of his favorite anime characters, but you’ll eventually learn that we currently live in Massachusetts and he’s a physician. Having said that, my name is as common as head lice, but his is a little too unique to throw out into the blogosphere without fear of eventually being stalked. I’m not sure exactly who would stalk us, but I’d like to imagine it would be a wheelchair bound photographer with binoculars who moves in to the building across the street. In any case, I’ll say that one translation of Frankie's name means loving and sympathetic. So in his case, what’s in a name is an incredibly accurate description of the person who bears that name. He grew up in New Jersey and is of Indian and Pakistani origin. I grew up in California and I’m pretty much as white as they come. No really, you can see my veins through my skin. It’s a little sad. Our paths crossed just over three years ago in San Francisco and our first date consisted of dinner at a diner, chardonnay at a wine bar, and bowling. He had me at “Damn! Another gutter ball!” During that first night we talked about a lot of things: our careers, our families, our friends, our mutual love of RuPual’s Drag Race, and of course how we both wanted children one day.

Our relationship progressed, and soon enough, we were with kitten. Willow has been the Queen of our house ever since, and she rules with an iron fist. Eventually we found ourselves moving across the country from California to Massachusetts, so we could live in a state that would allow us to marry. Being married has always been important to both of us, and we were tired of our cats’ judgmental nature. We were almost certain she was giving us dirty looks because we were living together out of wedlock, but it turns out she just does it because she’s an ass. (Who we still spoil to no end.) 

We were married in September of last year, and it’s been the two of us ever since. Just two guys vs. the world; and we’re ready to take on whatever the world may throw at us.

Now, we find ourselves taking the next step, flying across the globe to a country that will allow us to enter into an affordable surrogacy contract and hopefully make a baby. We had originally picked a different clinic, and even a different country to help us make this happen, but like I said earlier, life rarely works out the way you plan.  So, now we find ourselves picking an egg donor, a surrogate, and getting ready to take the journey to Thailand. It’s one of the most stressful, exciting, and overwhelming times in our lives.  I know that this part, the journey, is supposed to be what counts; but if I’m being honest, all I really care about this time around is the destination.